Author: Kaburagi Haruka
Translator: ShiroiKaze/Soyokaze Translations
Chapter 54: Return
We still had to report to the guild, so our return trip was a bit rushed.
The trip there was a little over two days and we arrived at dusk, yet we arrived at early morning on our return trip, cutting roughly half a day off our time.
You may think it’s only half a day, but out of the total time that’s about a twenty percent reduction. Thinking of it that way I see it as pushing pretty hard.
It’s still early morning, and the city is filled to overflowing with various lively people.
People going about the streets to open their stores, those hurrying to their jobs, and adventurers seeking work.
Whenever those people happen to pass by and see us they seem startled, stop for a moment, then look away and hurriedly give us the road.
Of course it’s because of Kevin.
We can’t exactly use dimensional storage inside the guild, so we have him holding one of the femurs over his shoulder.
If we suddenly say “there was a titan zombie,” they’re not going to believe us. To make it credible we’ll need some physical proof.
Don’t make light of it as being only a femur. When it’s from a thirty meter tall titan, it’s appropriately beyond standard size.
It’s roughly seventeen or eighteen times the size of a human’s.
Even this one femur is over fifty centimeters thick, and more than six meters long.
It’s also light and tough… although considering its size there’s definitely some weight there. But with Kevin’s strength after being powered up, he treats the weight like its nothing and can leisurely stroll forward.
“Hey, look…”
“That’s a huge bone. What did he defeat this time?”
“Forget that, how the hell is he carrying something that big and not even staggering? That’s nuts, man.”
“He ain’t human anymore. [Race: Kevin].”
“Well, I mean it’s Kevin. That just happens when it’s Kevin.”
“Guess so, since his race is Kevin.”
As usual, adventurers observe from a distance and spread rumors.
From their perspective he’s no longer categorized as human I guess… What the heck is [Race: Kevin] supposed to mean?
“… Hey.”
“Not much we can do. Dimensional storage is a secret. That means someone has to carry it there.”
“Then let Eir do it!”
“Making a lady carry something heavy? Boorish.”
“In what world are you a ‘lady’?!”
“How rude. Master Rimuru has been getting aroused by me lately.”
“Seriously?”
“She’s lying!”
“Before it was about this big, now it’s gotten to about this…”
“STOOOOP PLEEEEEASE?!”
I use my fingers to show a little less than ten centimeters, then spread them to about ten centimeters.
I’m so glad he’s growing well.
“Eir! Why do you even know that in the first place?!”
“Because we’re always bathing together of course.”
Every week we enjoy the mixed baths at the elf hot springs over the weekend.
Plus on cold winter days we always sleep together.
Since it’s cold, we often wake up in the early hours of the morning hugging each other. At that time we’ll be touching here and there. Like his wild rod which apparently physiologically can’t be calmed down so easily.
In the first place it’s not a horrendous thing, but still at the size where “cute” would best express it, so it’s heartwarming at most.
“We’re not sleeping or bathing together anymore.”
“Whaaaat, yes we are.”
“It’s embarrassing for me!”
“A little late for that. I don’t mind.”
This must be one of those ‘rebellious phases’… A long time ago, when I was his age, I said, “I’m not getting in the bath with you anymore, dad,” and I think I understand my father’s look of despair.
That was two years ago, by the way.
“Bathing together, sleeping together, and even knowing details like size. Kids these days have such advanced relationships.”
“We do not!”
Amy had a seemingly aghast expression as she mutters.
“Don’t worry, Rimuru. Just for you, I’ll bless the relationship.”
“Like. I. SAID–“
“Hey, we’ve reached the guild y’know?”
Not reading the room, Kevin says one thing and our session of teasing Master ended.
Master was so cute panicking like that, too…
~*~
We can’t get the bone through the guild entrance.
A giant, six meter long item isn’t something we could place on the counter in the first place.
So while we handle the formalities inside, Amy stood at the entrance keeping watch on it.
“Uh-huh. A titan you say?”
“Yes, it’s hard to believe.”
When we report to the receptionist lady, she responded half in doubt.
But after noticing the giant white mass beyond the guild’s swinging door, she immediately changes her correspondence.
The other adventurers in the guild also stirred when they saw the bone outside.
“Th-then I’ll file a request for village guards and a search of the surroundings. The requester is the village chief, Coelho, is that correct?”
“Yes, here’s the authorization.”
“… Everything looks in order. Well then, would you like to sell your materials?”
“Could you turn that thing into a weapon, perhaps?”
Master points his thumb toward the entrance to his back.
“Let’s see… Yes, I believe that will be fine. It depends on the condition of the materials, but weapons made from bone have existed since ancient times. Of course ‘the bones of what?’ is an important question, but if they are from a titan it should be fine.”
“Thank you. So, if you could introduce us to a smith who can work with that thing…”
“That… you say.”
The lady seemed troubled by that. She looks unusually hesitant.
“Excuse me. I am personally unaware of what level of skill would be desired to process titan bones. I can introduce you to a guild recommended smith; I would suggest you ask there.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. Understood.”
“In that case I will prepare a letter of introduction. Please wait here a–“
“Write the damn introduction letter later, just hurry and bring out that request. The treasure is gonna get away from us!”
An adventurer broke into the conversation with the voice of a savage; coarse and throaty.
Looking behind us, there were a number of adventurers I haven’t seen much. They’re all around twenty years old. Their armor and shields are still shiny and clean, and their movements are clumsy. Definitely rookies.
“Who’re these guys?”
Kevin looks over his shoulder at the counter and asks the receptionist.
“They recently registered here. On their first quests they defeated goblins among other things. They’re promising newcomers, or something like that…”
“Ahh… Then it makes sense they wouldn’t know me.”
Kevin’s eyes turned hollow as he heard the strangely familiar story.
Come to think of it, he defeated goblins right off the bat too, didn’t he. Ukuku, how does it feel to get a look back at your dark history?
“Ah well. Get that paperwork done please.”
“Yes, of course.”
“You bastard, don’t ignore me! Not like a bunch of brats like you could take down a titan anyway.”
“Then what’s that bone?”
He points to the huge item left at the entrance.
“Y-you just picked up the bones of some dead animal and…”
“That’d mean there’s no treasure then, wouldn’t it. Try to use your head.”
“PFFT”
Master and I unexpectedly burst into laughter at Kevin’s remark.
If even Kevin is calling you stupid, you’ve failed as an adventurer.
“Shaddup! In that case–“
“What a pain in the ass.”
Kevin mumbles to himself and steps away from the counter.
Then, as he begins walking toward the rookies, the guild was instantly in an uproar.
“The mountain has finally… moved!”
“There will be a rain of blood…”
“Damn, those guys are dead.”
“Won’t even be bodies left, will there?”
“U-umm, Kevin, if you could do this peaceably…”
Even the receptionist made a teary-eyed plea as a result.
With Kevin as he is now, he could certainly make a mountain of rubble out of the guild. And based on how they carry themselves, Kevin could have dealt with them before he was even powered up.
Perhaps oppressed by the unrest in the air, the rookies drew their swords in a panic.
“Y-ya wanna go?!”
“Against you guys? What kinda joke is that? Waste of effort. Besides, bloodshed inside the guild—-is prohibited.”
“UWAAH?!”
As easily as if he was stepping over a small puddle, Kevin leaps right up next to them.
He then puts a hand to his metal-armored opponent’s belt, lifts him overhead with one hand, faces the entrance, and tosses him outside.
With the speed of an arrow, the rookie is easily thrown like a wad of paper. He strikes the bone sitting outside, altering his flight path, and then disappears from view.
“A-Albert?!”
“You—-!”
“What, still want more?”
“…. Kgh, you better remember this.”
“Already forgot.”
The newcomers rush out of the guild to look after their buddy.
Ahh, how innocent.
“Kukuku, how does it feel to face your past self?”
“Shaddup, you lot wouldn’t have let things end with just that.”
“How rude. We were much more gentlemanly, weren’t we?”
“Is that so?”
We were. We didn’t directly inflict any violence on Kevin.
At most we threatened him with our claws to his throat is all.
“We-well then… we’ve finished the procedures, so’f you could jchek… just check the documents.”
“Mm, yeah. All yours, Rimuru.”
“Sure thing.”
The lady is shaking from Kevin’s sudden display of violence.
She even flubbed her lines.
~*~
Materials from twenty bone wolves, plus the assets of the zombified slave merchants came to quite a large sum.
The reward for defeating them is three hundred gold coins. Twenty more from the materials purchase. And although we destroyed the slave collars in the slave merchant’s carriage, there was about two hundred gold coins left from his exchanges.
Which all comes out to the astounding earnings of one hundred and five gold coins a head.
With the two of us we get two hundred and ten. After putting some away for savings, it still comes out to one hundred and seventy coins.
Furthermore, Yig is not included in the calculation.
“Even after putting one hundred coins away for the house purchase, we still have seventy left. Look forward to a bit of extravagance at dinner tonight.”
“Yaaay!”
“Boss, I request meats, I do!”
“You eat meat every day…”
Amy looked pleased as well, but only Kevin had a complicated look on his face.
We’re having lunch in the guild’s restaurant, but Kevin, who always goes directly for the meat, does not seem thrilled.
“What’s wrong, aren’t you happy?”
“Mm, ahh… I’ve still gotta turn this bone into a weapon and all. I dunno how much I’ve gotta bring, so I can’t be celebrating just yet.”
“Ooh, right.”
We did receive the guild’s letter of introduction to refer us to a smith in the neighborhood.
I doubt we’ll be turned down without a word, but we don’t have any experience turning titan bones into a spear either, so we have no idea how much it will cost.
“Well, at worst you could use the bone as is like a blunt weapon, right?”
“… Like some kind of savage? Besides, with materials as good as this, I wanna put some magic in it.”
“Ahh, a magic weapon. That’s certainly the dream. Kevin, you’re at about the level where it would even be normal for you to have one, too.”
“I’ve got my eye on indigo rank anyway. Gotta at least start lookin’ the part.”
“That’s true. Actually, want to go out there together?”
“Mu?”
Those words made my hands stop mid-meal.
Kevin and Master have been overly friendly lately.
He’s never even asked to “go out” with me before, to begin with.
“Is that okay? You’ve got a way with words, so it’d be a big help and all.”
“And you’re bad with words and get carried away easily. I’ve heard a lot about you asking for a custom made item from a smith, only to have a slip of the tongue and get on his bad side.”
“… Well yeah.”
With that being the case, after the meal we were set to go with Kevin to the weapon shop.
In addition, in my irritation I relentlessly kicked at Kevin’s feet, only to have Master get mad at me. How irrational.
~*~
Author’s Note: The title is feeling like a scam at this point, so I’m wondering if I should change it…
But it’s the middle of Narou Con, so I wonder if changing it now would leave a bad impression?